I really did. I cried. It wasn't a grocery store tantrum of a 3 year old when mommy sas - Not this time sweetie, when asked if we could buy ice cream. It wasn't like that at all! I have my very favorite kind of ice cream in my ice cream in the freezer right now. It, and other kinds have been in the freezer for some time. I have no problem with it. My family is very supportive and generally eat what I make for dinner with no complaints, but they did not sign up for this lifestyle, so I buy icecream for the weekends, or make biscuits and gravy from time to time. I love them and they deserve it!
But the other night, I spiralled down, into the depths of my addiction and woke up craving that stupid ice cream. Delicious Farr's Mint Chocolate Chip. I lay in bed and thought of that evil evil minty goodness, and the more I thought of it, the more it became an obsession. After 2 HOURS of this, I still had not gone to the kitchen, because I CAN DO HARD THINGS! I even yelled at myself! Gabrielle STOP! but the problem is, you see, is I waited too long to tell myself to stop. I was already in such a state. Then, cue the tears. I cried. I dont know if it was because I was not eating the ice cream, or if was because I was in a head space that was so hard, but cry I did. What made all this craziness end? Prayer. A plea for heavenly help.
The ice cream is still in the freezer, not being eaten by me. And it is ok. I do not want it anymore. This is just a battle I will have to fight. I will need help, clearly. But I can do this.
I also have finally started walking again! 2.5 miles a day. It is much harder than it was before... being in bed, practically dying for 4 months can do that for you...but I am loving it!
And I wore my husbands workout shirt to walk in, and it was not even tight!
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